Creating the Character - The Conductor

One of the more interesting characters of the Phantom Train is its conductor.  I won't lie, this is a slight nod to one of my favorite books of all time, Polar Express.  In a way, these two stories are so similar and yet polar opposites.  (Not to use a pun.)     Much of what happens on the Polar Express is instigated by the conductor character.  We know next to nothing about him, who he is where he comes from, but he is as much a part of the story and the train as our main hero.  

In my story, the conductor plays a similar role.  He serves as the one who explains what the train is and what it does.  He is a guardian of the train, a ghost himself.  I never really imagined his story too far, unfortunately.  I just assumed he's been with the train since it appeared and will be with it to the end. 

There was another character in the story, an engineer, who appeared in an earlier version.  Originally the kids met him and he spread out a deck of tarot cards to explain the meaning of death.  I changed this however, since Tarot didn't fit with an overall theme.  We don't see an engineer or any other maintenance people, and the train appears to run itself.  I imagine that the conductor is the only real staff aboard, in charge of those coming on and off the train.

In a way I would like to know his story, but I enjoy a bit of the mystery surrounding him.  Its nice to dream of different possibilities as far as the man is concerned.

The Single Writer

I don't want to go too off track, but something has been bothering me for a little while.   I am starting to realize how very lonely my life as a writer is.   This is not to say I don't have a life, I do, but most of it involves work.  I know very few people and my circle is very small.   I am trying to change that, through this blog and other means, but its been six years since I moved back home and I feel I have not advanced at all.

Part of the problem is work schedule.  Working nights makes it hard to do anything since most activities seem to happen during the day and over the course of normal weeknights.  Most writing critique groups locally fall in this category and as such its hard to find a niche.  That is one of the reasons I want to find an editor or a mentor, someone to point me in the right direction.   In itself, that is a challenge.  I recently contacted some wonderful sounding people, but they didn't feel they were a fit for me.

I suppose as a writer I want reassurance.  I want correspondence.  I want right and wrong, good and bad.  I want to be around like-minded people.  At the same time I dread critique.  I sat through years of it in high school and I grew to hate the nit-pick attitude that seemed to radiate from the groups.  Its easy to get defensive about your work though, but even in my older years  I found more people were interested in hawking their own work than equal interest in mine.

I for one always try to give equal interest in people's work.  I love reading and giving suggestions.  I always like seeing new ideas and opportunities.  I miss that the most about groups, about critiques and friends.  My question now is how do I get that back given my schedule?  How to I reach out more with what resources I have?  I yearn for suggestions, for anything?  I yearn for a reason and purpose so that I no longer feel I am shouting to a giant void.

Creating the Character - Daryl Dawson

I think of all my characters in Phantom Express, Daryl is the one that has changed the most and probably for the best.  In the beginning his character was another kid, a bully, who had lost his brother when he was younger.  As I grew up myself though, I realized how juvenile this character was and how unnecessary.   I knew I had to change him to tie into the characters that existed, and I wanted it to become about family, so I changed the character's age, relationship etc, until it was their Dad.

In a way Daryl is an intriguing character because although the story is narrated as scene through Justin and Jessie's perspective, the story is really about Daryl's struggles.  He is a single father who still deals with the terrible grief over his wife's death some years back.  He's got a job, a house, two children to deal with, and yet the loss of his wife weighs heavily on his heart.  I once was told by someone that they sympathized with his character the most and that was very profound.

This person told  me that they considered Daryl's situation in the book as the most precarious and real in relationship to death.  Not to spoil anything, but they saw his decision about death as the most crucial.  In the end, so many people have trouble living after one they love so much dies.   So many lose hope and faith and start to die off slowly inside themselves.  They do not always see the beauty of life right in front of them.  Sometimes people make foolish choices in regards to life.

It is for this reason that the Phantom Train ultimately sought out this family.  Somewhere, somehow, Maria Dawson, Daryl's wife wanted to give her husband a message to keep on living. 

Creating the Character - Jessie

I think of the five characters in the book, Jessie is the one so much like my real self.  She is quiet, more reasoning than Justin.   Where he is my desire of something I wasn't, Jessie is more like I was.  She's less inclined to believe what she sees, even if it is fantastical.  That said, she's not against changing what she believes once she sees proof, understanding it.    In some way's she is Justin's superior in this case, she's the one who can help change him, bring him and her father down to reason from the level of the fantastic that they find themselves within.

In a way, Jessie's recollection of death is the one I am more interested in than Justin's.  Even though Justin is the narrator, the beginning of the story is based on a wait for her.  We see Justin waiting for that reasoning individual.  He is already delved into the fantastic, the cold night, the winds and the light of moon.  He is the one who sees the strange, whereas Jessie would probably see the night as another night.   It would be an interesting exercise to try to write the story from her perspective rather than Justin's.

One of the things I didn't have in this version of the book was a scene where the two characters dine in a dining car.  In an earlier version Jessie mentions Persephone in terms of eating the food of the dead.  I think this shows another aspect of my character in her.  She's more well learned than Justin in this regard.  She's afraid of what the trains power is.   I am glad I got rid of that scene though because it mirrored the source material and inspiration in Final Fantasy where the characters also dined on the train (with no ill effect.) 

Ultimately, Jessie will remain one of my favorite characters.  I always find it hard to write women or girls because I'm not one.  I modeled her after a few girls I knew growing up as such.  But I hope I got the aspects of that side of life correct.

Deciding on Characters - Justin

In a way Justin Dawson is an allegory for some of the things I wished for after I was grown.  I wanted to be a more mischievous child, to have a twin or a younger sibling.   Justin is a bit more daring than myself.  I don't know if I would step on a strange, haunted looking train, but he does share some interesting similarities.   He's smart, witty, and very kind at heart.    I hear people say that one should not make characters Mary Sue, a reflection of themselves.   But really, isn't that what any character is?

We all write bits of ourselves into our characters.  Whether it is good or bad, realistic or imagined, our characters reflect aspects of our own true being.   Justin was an aspiration of my youth, and in a way he reflects what I looked like back then, curly brown hair, freckles and sky blue eyes.   He's got a fondness for red converse sneakers which I still have, and he is struggling internally with the death of someone close to him. 

I think I mentioned this before but I often ask kids what they think about the characters once they read the book and the reaction to Justin is always that they know someone like this.   Justin is their brother, their friend, their cousin, whatever.  They relate very much to him. In a way that makes me very proud because he is me as the narrator of this strange journey.

Chapter 1 - Part 3

Suddenly, a long and haunting note pierced the night air.  A deep reverberating hum settled along the old iron bars like a tuning fork as a stone embedded in the rust at my feet came free and rolled to one side.  A prickle went down my spine into my feet.  Fear blocked reason.  This could only be one thing, a train. 

With a shriek of steam and grinding metal, a massive black steam engine erupted from the tunnel mouth spewing smoke like a black dragon arisen from the darkest depths of the earth.  Blue flame coursed over its riveted body like ghostly waves as white hot steam escaped in powerful jets from huge pistons and blue sparking wheels. 

A flash of light snapped me back into reality.  Instinct took over,  and I dove into the safety of the brush.  The train hurtled past, and then it vanished into the forest without sound or trace.

 Scrambled footsteps clattered across the gravel. Jessie crouched down beside me and helped me to my feet.  “Justin, are you’re all right?”  I nodded, and she wrinkled her nose in disgust.  “You could have been killed!”

“I thought you said the line was cut!  Wait!  The camera went off as it came out!  Let’s see the picture!”

She flipped up the image, and we both froze.  There was no train, just a ghostly blue streak.  I felt my blood run cold.  “That can’t be right.  We didn’t just imagine that thing!” 

She shook her head.   “Let’s go home before anything else happens.”  

I looked back at the empty tunnel mouth. “Yeah, let’s get out of here.”

 “That’s the smartest thing you’ve said all night, Justin.”

The wind still whispered with the echoes of what happened that summer night as we scrambled back up the embankment.  Somehow I knew that this was only the beginning.

Some retrospect

I happen to like the way the last post shows the beginnings of the mystery of the Phantom Train.  We start to transition to the world of the surreal.  I worked very hard on the details of the kids, and I like the way I portrayed some of their actions.  That said, I sometimes wonder if the conversations are stilted.  

Back when I first wrote this, these two characters were the ones who changed the least.  They were always brother and sister, twins and acted pretty much the same to one another.  Being an only child, I tried my best to guess how they'd tease each other from things I saw with my friends who had siblings.   When I ask children about what they think about the characters they say they really like them.  


The fog and the tunnel itself were one of the earliest images for the train I had in mind.  I knew I had to have something spooky, a big cavern and and empty train line for the train to prowl.  Originally the kids were there with a schoolyard bully who had dared them to walk inside and then back but I later changed it and removed that character.    I added other things as technology progressed their camera became a digital one, though I wonder if it should change to a phone now that most kids have those.   It amazes me just how quickly things can age a book.

Overall I still enjoy how this chapter looks, and I cant wait to finish posting it.